When Simone was five years old she made her father pudding for his dessert and insisted on washing the bowls. Amused, the father waited until she was asleep before he rewashed the dishes. Simone made plans for her father to take her on weekend jaunts to parks and movies. Her father complied, even though the movies she chose were a dreadful bore. One Friday evening the father and Anne planned to meet. The father was preparing Simone for a visit to her grandmother's when she burst into tears and slammed the door to her room.
The father's first impulse was to follow and
comfort her. Instead, he sat and stared out the window. When
Simone reappeared, red-eyed but silent, he informed her
that she would not be going to her grandmother's because
there was someone coming whom he wished her to meet.
Simone was surprised and not overly pleased that the someone
was that "nice lady in Daddy's office who gives me gum."
In fact, Simone was unable to remember Anne's name in
spite of repeated visits over the next six months. Simone
refused to make pudding, or wipe a dish, and would retreat
to her room after dinner in surly silence. Anne, who was now
father's fiancee, accepted this spiteful Aphrodite in good
grace. She proposed a shopping expedition which Simone
immediately rejected. The father decided to go shopping
instead, and informed Simone that she would visit
Grandma's. More tears, and Simone screamed at Anne, "You
aren't my mother!"
Two days before the wedding, Simone asked if she could be
the flower girl. Anne and Simone went shopping for a dress.
Simone became a delightful flower girl, although she was
again miffed when no one invited her to the honeymoon.
Mothers who are single parents of young boys are in a difficult
position also. An uncle, a Boy Scout leader, or a male
teacher may serve as role model if mother lacks a steady
male friend. If the mother derives major emotional satisfaction
from her son she needs to monitor her own reactions
closely. She may unwittingly impede his growth by seeking
his approval and emotional support. Then her son feels as if
he does indeed possess his mother and thus restricts himself
from outside erotic pursuits. He needs to be urged, and sometimes
pushed out to club meetings and sports events while
his mother remains at home. Summer camp and prolonged
visits to relatives are helpful.
Some young single mothers are so bound by little money
and large responsibility that they appear sexually uninterested.
Sandy works long and hard as a nurse's aid to support
two youngsters. By the time she beds down the children and
completes her nightly chores, she's too exhausted to pleasure
herself, much less seek out a man. Her aseptic existence provides
her little girl with a role model of grim asceticism. If
Sandy's child is to view sex positively, so must Sandy.
When a young lady or gentleman comes precariously close
to living out the oedipal drama of possessing the parent of
the opposite sex, the best solution is to add another warm
but firm parent, or the best available substitute. Then the
child can once again be a child and all are more comfortable.
Children of five and six can comprehend genital coupling.
Mating animals have become an intriguing sight. Big sister
and her boyfriend are fascinating too. Now youngsters can be
taught the mechanics of intercourse. In addition, they need
to know that the penis imparts pleasure as it enters the
vagina. Making love is enjoyable. Occasionally parents do it
to have a baby also. If children assume, as they're often told,
that intercourse is only to have babies, they expect that it
hurts because of the size discrepancy between penis and
vagina. Some parents put in a plug for morality with "wait
for that special someone," or "it's nice, but only after marriage."