Meg was the younger of two children born to a couple who seemed absolutely mismated. Meg's father was a complaining, jealous man who rarely said anything nice. Mother was highly erratic. She purchased expensive dresses and worthless baubles, depleting the family bank account. She reacted to her husband's recriminations with profuse tears. If this Wouldn't deter him she threatened to leave, once screaming that the only reason she hadn't left years before was because of "those stupid brats." When not upset, she was an adequate but uninspired mother.
Meg recalled her childhood as filled with uncertainty.
When she was five, her parents separated and she was sent
to live with her grandmother, where she remained for three
years. The grandmother was an unwilling sitter who only
accepted her charge to "keep her out of the orphan's home." It
was then that Meg encountered an exhibitionist in the alley
behind her grandmother's apartment.
Instead of fleeing, she
crouched against the wall and stared wide-eyed at his full
erection. He approached and ejaculated within a few feet of
her face. She never told anyone, assuming they would be
angry. She knew little about sex, although she had participated
in a few mild sex games and had seen a film at school.
Intelligent and hardworking, Meg was granted a scholarship
to a prestigious university.
There she became known for
her ability to organize student activities. She maintained
her composure under difficult circumstances, once intervening
successfully for a classmate who was being expelled. She
dated frequently, petted occasionally, but remained a virgin.
At age twenty, she realized that she was the only neophyte in
her entire circle of friends. Not to be different, she acquiesced
on the next date, an event she later referred to as her "backseat
initiation ceremony."
Following graduation from college Meg was uneasy. Several
of her friends were married, and others had moved
away. Her position as a management trainee in a large
department store presented little challenge. During the next
six months she selected, attracted, bedded, and wedded the
son of the owner of her department store's largest competitor.
She felt comfortable as a newly married young woman,
although she was only vaguely aroused in bed. Having studied
Kinsey, she recognized that this was not unusual.
She
awaited the orgasms which were sure to commence after sev
eral months or years of marriage. When she and her compliant
husband finally arrived at the sex therapy clinic, she had
already visited gynecologists, tried acupuncture and hypnosis,
and had even obtained the female equivalent of a circumcision.
Repeated failures had increased her sense of
inadequacy.
It's tempting to blame Meg's sexual problems on her
encounter with the exhibitionist. Indeed she was "traumatized,"
but in large part because she already felt utterly help-
less-unable to flee or become angry. Adults had always
seemed threatening and unpredictable. She had never seen a
penis under more favorable circumstances or received any
positive messages about sex. Greater confidence in any area,
but especially sex, would have lessened the impact. As an
adult, Meg's gravest fear was criticism. To prevent this, she
strove for perfection by doing all the "right" things. An
orgasm became a product like a management report or a
well-decorated room. The more anxious she became, the
more elusive her pleasure.