How can the child learn this? Interchangeable roles, unisex clothing, and hidden genitals are confusing. It helps if he can change the baby or distinguish male from female puppies in a litter. Bathing with a child of the opposite sex provides an easy solution. Simple tub games afford both information and erotic enrichment. These include "ding dong," "push the soap," and "tie the boat." The presence of simple props and at least one boy are required.
"Ding dong" is best played by two boys. They stretch out side
by side, and each peers across the water to catch sight of a
surfacing penis. A quick tug is the "ding dong" for which the
game is named. Boys rarely experience an erection, which
would constitute a definite liability. If a girl is present, she
may play also, but she has an unfair advantage. In "push the
soap" an erection is profitable and girls feel hopelessly inferior.
If the soap won't float, neither sex has an advantage.
Girls enjoy "tie the boat," although obviously they can't play
without at least one boy. Unless the player who provides the
mooring happens to have an erection, the game becomes
frustrating and is soon abandoned. Fortunately, neither sex
can fasten an effective knot.
Toilet games enhance the pleasures of urination and defecation
and provide a lesson in anatomy. In the game "show
me," children perform for each other on the pot. As more of
the girl's body lies hidden, she has more to reveal. Little boys
are intensely interested, although no game persists for more
than a few minutes at this age. In the toilet game "make a big
one," the sexes are evenly matched. Needless to say, keen
concentration is required. "Waterworks" is a contest which
can be devastating to the little girl. Accuracy and projectile
force claim victory for the male every time. Recognizing the
inadequacies of her equipment, the little girl may refuse to
play or retreat to her mother for solace. Boys feel incredibly
proud.
Parents don't need to suggest these games. Lively children,
time and permission are all that are necessary. "After
your bath: go ahead and play" is permission enough for a reasonably
uninhibited child. Parents do need to monitor their
reactions should they surprise the children in a sex game. An
exclamation, muffled remark, or hasty retreat can provoke
shame. A smile, together with a statement like "Hey, that
looks like fun!" should be sufficient. Parents may then exit,
so as not to interfere with the children's spontaneity.
When parents are open about their bodies, issues arise
which can be settled to the child's advantage. Chet is awestruck
at the size of his father's member. He looks at his own
and is humbled. One morning, his father enters the bathroom
with an erection; Chet is crestfallen. Happily, he
already knows that his penis is valuable; it feels good and his
mother likes it. He's reassured when his father acknowledges
that boys have smaller organs and that when Chet is a
man he will have a very large penis also.
Roger hasn't developed penis pride; he needs more than a
simple statement. His father adds, "That's a very fine penis
you have," or, "We're lucky to have a handsome penis that
feels good too." Father can engage Roger in a simple remediation
to encourage penis pride. Each in turn projects a forceful
stream of urine into the toilet to produce froth. His father
compliments Roger and may limit the force of his own
stream so that Roger's is outstanding. A capful of detergent
in the bowl can add to Roger's enjoyment.
The healthy two-year-old child strips for pleasure and
only gradually learns to remain clothed except at certain
times. The older preschooler, commonly a girl, may strip
because she's anxious. At three and a half, Nancy has a
hypothesis. Like any other scientist she seeks confirmation
through an extensive and varied experimental approach.
She drops her pants in the park, wanders bottomless out of
the public toilet, and streaks across the yard. When company
is present she invariably enters naked. Averted eyes and her
mother's scowl affirm her suspicions. An occasional laugh
puzzles her, but the weight of evidence clearly indicates that
her genitals are powerfully bad.