CHILD development is like building a house. The basement is the most important, especially the cornerstones of the foundation. If this is well built, the structure resists stresses and strains, withstanding most environmental forces. Conversely, a minor defect in the foundation can cause continuing or recurrent problems.
Problems that would be inconsequential in an adult can
permanently cripple the fetus or infant. For instance, a
virus, an X ray, or a slight oxygen deficit in the unborn child
can cause abortion, stillbirth, congenital defects, retardation,
symptoms of hyperactivity, or autism. (Pasamanick,
1972; Knobloch, 1975) Less than optimal oxygen in the newborn
can impair the organizational and perceptual functions
of the brain for the rest of the child's life. Yet these same
insults are of little or no consequence in the older child or
adult.
The younger the organism, the more vulnerable it is.
The crucial shifts in emotional growth occur early also. We
are just beginning to recognize the tremendous import of the
first few months of life, when each child demonstrates a
characteristic feeling state.
One infant is cranky, while
another is placid. Colic, circumstance, the mother's ability to
respond, and heredity all contribute to this emotional attitude
which eventually colors the child's outlook on life. The
irritable, upset infant may later perceive the world as frus
trating, unpredictable, or threatening.
His mother's ability
to accept his body unconditionally and accurately sense his
needs must certainly mediate toward a happier view of the
world. A mother who rocks, soothes, and is sensitive to the
infant's needs gives him every opportunity to develop a positive
feeling state.
The older infant and the child must solve a series of problems.
They must learn to relate to others, control them
selves, and establish independence.
Certain challenges arise
at certain times as a function of growth itself. For instance,
the infant who can't even crawl doesn't need to control his
actions. But the toddler who can pull open drawers and climb
out of his crib does need to control himself.
The child who is
capable of attending school must emerge from the protected
home environment and make friends his own age. Movement
from one stage to the next depends upon the child's abilities,
adequate solutions to earlier problems, and parental support
and guidance.
The sex drive is part of the child. It moves through well-
defined stages too. Eleven-month-old Abby is beginning to
navigate. Propelling herself enthusiastically toward a toy,
she hits her head on a table. An agonized wail summons her
father, who cuddles and soothes her.
In his embrace she feels
warm and sexy. Just seven months later Abby is an opinionated
woman of the world. She refuses aid and haughtily
declines her father's lap. Instead, she grasps her baby pillow
firmly between her thighs and rubs until satisfied.
Various
questions such as "Why don't girls have a penis?" or "Is it all
right to marry Mommy?" are characteristic of certain ages.
The child needs to resolve each issue in turn in order to realize
his full erotic potential. Feelings of inadequacy, shame, or
resentment interfere with a favorable solution on any level.
The focus of the child's eroticism also evolves in a predictable
sequence. First it's the mother's breast, then the mother's
face and entire body. Later it's father, a teddy bear, and other
children.
Next comes the little girl down the block, a teacher,
a best chum, and finally appropriate members of the opposite
sex. Horizons widen as the child grows.