Body intimacy is the key to earliest erotic development. At
no time is the individual more open to feel or less inclined to
censure than in infancy. The baby's whole body is a sexual
organ. The joy of being held and caressed is fully appreciated
in the first year of life.
The kinesthetic delight of being
swooped up in a parent's arms is learned and may later be
revisited by making love on a swing. The free palm of the
suckling infant which massages the other nipple, or a button
on mother's blouse, contributes to the worldwide significance
of a fingertip placed in the palm of a hand.
The infant who
inhales its mother's smell while lustily nursing is paving the
way for what the French recognize as the greatest of all
erotic enhancements-the scent of a beloved.
There are certain exercises that enrich the experience of
body intimacy-for both mother and child. These are
designed for use in the first six months of life. The first exercise
may be begun on the delivery table, if the mother is
alert, without pain, and has chosen an empathic obstetrician.
The father can also share in the experience. This is the
time to claim, acknowledge, and begin to enjoy an amazing, if
often perplexing, being.
A Tahitian mother first sniffs her
newborn, and a mother even in our aseptic culture can distinguish
her infant in the nursery by smell.
At first your baby's scent is mixed with yours and a smorgasbord of other
odors: the amniotic fluid, perhaps meconium, and all the
Zephiran and alcohols of the delivery room. Altogether, a
stimulating and highly erotic mixture.
After catching his
scent, touch the silken skin, gaze into his eyes, and enfold
the tiny form in your own natural curve. Skin-to-skin contact
is highly desirable, but sometimes inconvenient in the delivery
room.
You may taste your infant also. He's a bit salty, and
not at all unpleasant. Unfortunately, both the smell and
taste of birth are soon to be swallowed forever by a sudsy
ablution in the nursery.
Another article may vanish also- the foreskin. Some mothers who have borne several boys
have never seen an uncircumcised penis because the operation
is performed before the baby leaves the delivery room.
So check all the vital parts.
Occasionally, a mother finds the baby's smell unpleasant
or even disgusting. This is a danger signal which, if unresolved,
severely limits the pleasure she can receive from her
infant.
In turn, this restricts the erotic and other joys that
the infant gains from her. Closeness with another is impossible
if the other smells bad.
If the scent seems dirty, the
mother is likely confusing sex and dirt. Sometimes a new
mother who is frightened, drugged, or in pain is unable to
perceive anything pleasurable.
Another may experience the
smell as unpleasant because she isn't prepared for the dramatic
and irrevocable changes which motherhood conveys.
It's a favorable sign if, after a day or so, the baby begins to
smell pleasant.
Mothers on the delivery table who have the chance but
avoid looking at the penis or clitoris are dealing with significant
sexual inhibitions.
Often such mothers say, "They'd
think I was crazy" or "They told me it was a girl so I didn't
need to check."In truth,they're embarrassed.They can easily
claim and enjoy the other ninety-five percent-but the penis?
Many a new mother carefully counts fingers and toes but
leaves a more valuable appendage unowned and dark within
the blanket.